| Saints & Sinners 2008 |
| East Grinstead |
| 22nd - 25th August 2008 |
On our gradual arrival to the camping site, on Friday 22nd of August, we were welcomed by the unmistakable sound of beer cans being cracked open and spirit bottle tops being swivelled off. With the condition of our camping area still in a satisfactory working order, we set about pitching our tents with great urgency, with the realisation that the real drinking can only realistically commence when the majority of us had settled. Having realised that Roy and Tony’s tent was not as easy to erect as first thought, we took a break for a few rounds of “Snake-eyes”, with Nic bearing the brunt of the role of the dice making her the unfortunate sole to be drinking in practically every round. Esther was spared the early hysteria, to her disgust, when she was more likely to score a hatrick the next day than gain a double on her roles of the dice. With a selection of various spirits becoming shared around the groups, there were already signs that the quality of hockey would be somewhat diminished due to amount of alcohol consumed...
We then decided to start the tour as we meant it to continue, we headed up to the clubhouse hall where we had to exchange our cash for specially made tokens to be able to purchase anything from behind the bar. To this day, we are still uncertain why we had to do this. Esther was the first on the dance floor. To make up for her previously slow start, she had put away a fair amount of ‘booze’, (joined by the rest of us) by the time that the evening’s festivities had started. With the majority of us settled and already firmly lubricated we continued to dance the night away. This made Jonny and Rob’s arrivals even more special than they would have been otherwise. I think their sober state had made them wary of the weekend to come when each and every team member embraced them both in a rather drunk and over-emotional state. The evening was finely topped off by the “death ditch” which lay in between the campsite and the rest of the campus. A gathering of people crowded around the ditch awaiting the next unfortunate sole to come sliding down the slippy hill and straight into the pool of water at the bottom of the trench to everyone’s amusement. Among the embarrassed and rather annoyed individuals were Nic and Michelle (who decided to wear white jeans that night... big mistake!)
Our results on the 1st playing day reflected the events of the night before. The bar stars got off to a rather sluggish start on the Saturday morning with a 2-0 defeat to the Battr'dsSea Cods on the sand-based pitch. The second match was on the water-based pitch against a well-oiled team called Afterlife which gained bar another well deserved loss. Our first goals of the tournament came on the third game on Saturday with a 2-0 win over C4 S.M.A.S.Hs. Owen got the first from extremely close range and James scored his first ever tour goal for the club with a fantastic run and a finish to match. We all regretted the goal that James scored because the arrogance and cockiness to follow was pushing towards being unbearable. Saturday was a beautiful day, weather-wise, and The Bar Stars spent the majority of their non-playing time chilling on the wonderfully conditioned grass drinking heavily and watching other teams embarrass themselves on the hockey field. We were also entertained by Roy and Tony emulating the legendary Gladiator’s game, DUAL, as they had to stand on two separate podiums and knock each other off with long spongy weapons. Roy seemed to have expertise in this area and managed to persuade Tony to fall off on numerous occasions.
Our last game on Saturday was back on the water-based pitch against Lewes Mixed. We decided to shake things up within the team and our ‘Winchester-based’ import Tom was asked to move from his usual position of centre back and go and have a stab at centre forward. This tactical manouver paid off when Tom finished the game with 2 finely taken goals and possibly should have taken the match ball home as he had a great chance to take a well deserved hatrick. We went 2-0 up but managed to lose the game 3-2 after many DISGRACEFUL umpiring decisions including Tony receiving a blow to the back as one of their girls threw their hockey stick at him (it was the most action he had all weekend).
Saturday night was fancy dress night; with the main theme of the evening was ‘Heroes’ (cartoon, film or superheroes). Attempting to navigate around the swamp that we were now living in (due to a night of constant rain) was a sight for sore eyes. Within our group we had many variations on the word ‘heroes’. We had a couple of Batmans (Owen & Chits), Batgirl (Michelle), Wally Man whoever that is (Roy), Captain America (James) Danny Zuko & Sandra Dee from Grease (Ed & Caroline), 4 x Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Nic, Sarah, Esther and Tony), Rambo (Steve), A Couple of Ravers (Jonny and Rob) and The Punisher (Tom). The drinking was back and it was back with a vengeance. After we had finished a couple of drinking games inside the main hall, we enjoyed a performance by a live band called “Euphoria!” who entertained us for the rest of a very messy night... The main highlights of the evening were Chit’s scarily accurate resemblance of Batman (including stances and lunges) and Steve’s water pistol full of alcohol which he proceeded to squirt at anybody within a certain vicinity.
As we gradually woke up on Sunday, with a very sore head and (what seemed to be) a permanent red gaze as we opened our eyes, we could smell the unmistakable stench of... bacon! Sarah had been up since God only knows what time making the group bacon sarnies and coffee preparing us for the day ahead (thanks Sarah). An “orderly” queue formed outside of the kitchen tent with James, obviously, at the front. As punishment for James pushing in he was ordered to do all of the washing up.
The 2nd main playing day started off much better than the 1st day did. Although it was a 0-0 draw against The Wizards, it was a very professional performance considering the amount of alcohol that had been consumed the night before and the fact that push-back was at 10.25 in the morning. The day got even better in the second game of the day against Sin Binned which ended with a 2-0 win with Caroline and James scoring the winning goals. Unfortunately, our opponents for the third game of the day were too drunk to show up so we got a 10-0 walkover. We did, however, get a game as a selection of players from different teams joined up to play us in an open 1-1 draw (with man of the match Jonny starting off at left wing and then drifting wherever he felt it was necessary including right back). Between all of the games on Sunday the Bar Stars were entertained by “the ravers” as Rob and Jonny continually danced the day away (sometimes even without any music). Our final game of the tournament was against the Lady Boys. The Bar Stars completed a fine 2-0 win with center forward, Jonny, finishing a fine move with a tremendous volley from 3 yards out. Tony also grabbed himself a goal as we were attempting to avoid the water bombs that were being fired from 200 yards away by members of another team who clearly thought we needed refreshing.
The third night was far more reserved on our part as the stars were extremely tired and still well lubricated from the night before, the hockey and our day of drinking. The majority of us continued drinking until the early hours but nowhere near as heavy as the nights that had preceded it. The Bar Stars were extremely satisfied with their 4th place within a group of 9 teams although the hockey was certainly not the main focus of yet another fantastic tour. A big thank you goes out to everyone that came on SNS and made it so much fun... Cheers guys!
Report by BIG aka Ed Newbery
Tourers:
Ester Strous, Caroline Partridge, Michelle Lewis, Nicola Holland, Sarah Withers, Chris Chittleborough, Ed Newbery, James Pearson, Jonny Weller, Owen Hughes, Roy Hill, Steve Walters, Tom Quick, Tony Sayers